Anniversary of sorts.....

One year and 5 hours ago today Logan Denton Smith passed away. I dont know if I have not let myself get emotioal about the "date" or just dont feel connected to it the same way others may. Jon and Tammy have been making their way out here from Madison so in a spur of the moment descision Becky decided we should meet them in Yellowstone park. we are currently at Big sky resort in the amazing Gallitan Gateway....just north of the park.

I do remember this day last year quite clearly as I have never really had anyone I was very close to die, and Logan was much more than that!

cheers to Logan....I just try and feel grateful that I was part of his experience.

cancer sucks

Good Ole Sherman

I had thought to write something last week. We had been reading about the things we were doing last year/same time, the second round of Chemo had started for Logan, Kansas was winning the NCAA basketball tournament, who we were all rooting for.....but after the NFL NY Giants had won the super bowl(Logans favorite team)we were feeling like we had something on our side.

Well, today we took Sherman Logans lovable Saint Bernard to the vet with a limp. After some Xrays it looks like he has bone cancer. We will give him some pain meds and hope to spend another week or so with him. Of the options that we were presented with, such as amputation and radiation...the option of Chemo-therapy was ironic if not spooky because they use the same type(doxorubicin) that was used on Logan. perhaps we tend to reach a bit to find some meaning in it all but I would have to say I agree with Becky when she said "Logan is calling Sherman home" and ill bet he wants him right by his side.

Giving Thanks

Logan's Cancer Journey
Here we are Thanksgiving day, one year since Logan was diagnosed with an abdominal mass and life flighted to Seattle. I always found it ironic in a serendipitous way that Logan's cancer was discovered at this time of year. I remember it clearly as if it were yesterday. Logan as a human being seemed to evolve or mature as a person more than any of us. I recall the look on his face being loaded into the ambulance that was taking him to the plane that flew him and Becky to Seattle, and it was fearful, confused and worried. Logan was a trooper from the start of his ordeal and only seemed to transcend that description as time went on, and it felt like we were along for the ride. I say that of course in a spiritual sense, but looking into Logan's eyes and talking to him in his last days I saw a maturity of a soul that I may only dream of. And that is indicative of the common denominator of Logan's life here with us embodied.......and that is setting the mark.

I have to , even amidst the sadness be thankful for what I learned from Logan and the inspiration that I have now that I didn't have before to be a different kind of person....a better kind of person. I may have not been able to save him, but I bet he has that grin on his face where ever he may be...knowing that he may have save me. So on this traditional day of givving thanks...in a world that seems to more and more remind us of the problems we face....I give thanks for the oppourtunity I had to walk a few steps in life with Logan Smith

Lynn Montgomery

Missoula lost a great man this past week. I can only speak from my perspective, and that includes personal experience and local folklore. Lynn , I was told died from a heart attack while ice skating. I met him through Becky and I genuinely liked him and found him very interesting. His personality as I interpret from others was on the eccentric side (probably why I liked him), his professionalism as an OBGYN was stellar. Becky said to me just yesterday..."he was always there for me", and as I vividly recall the day/night Logan first went into the hospital...Lynn was right there....and I can tell you he made a tremendous difference. I will never forget this man....he was a game changer.... may he continue to affect lives for the better where-ever he is !

Very Nice People

I had just written the last post about people who are special. Another one of these wonderfull humans is Bob Conway, a friend of a friend. We met him in December of 07 when her came by to visit after Logan after the surgey (nephrectomy). What made Bobs visit unique was that he had basically the same cancer that Logan had been diagnosed with...Renal Cell Carcinoma.

IT was trmendously helpful for Logan and us to meet and see someone who was dealing with the same thing. Bob sat with Logan by his bed and asnswered his questions, I was filled with warmth by Bobs kindness and generosity, and still am. Bob passed away on Oct.16 and a memorial was held for him here in Missoula yesterday. The world was certianly a better place with a guy like Bob Conway, I am sure his impact will be felt for generations.

Great People make a great world

I was reading some depressing stuff that was makin me mad...about Cancer of course and how chemotherapy is basically complete bullcrap that pharma companies make $$$$ from....ok ok before I go off.....so anyhow I was looking at some pictures and thinking(remembering) how some people were so kind and generous...out of no obligation. Jon Brockman is one of these people. He came down to see Logan at the Ronald Mchouse, they kinda played ball, Jon gave Logan some items. It was very very cool, someone in Missoula knew Jon and said somethin to him I guess. What makes Jon a VIP is that he plays Basket ball for the Huskies...we will be rootin for the huskies this year.....we will see if he can prove himself on the court...since in my opinion he has already proven himself in life..

you can read more about Jon here

The journey continues

I dropped Wyatt and hayden off at football practice, it is a absolutely nice day here. at yesterdays games Becky and I had the company of Jake who was in Logans class, he is such a sweet little guy, he also wrestled with Logan. Jake in his innocent bright way was telling Becky stories about Logan in class and those little precious things he remembered......it really was a golden ....very special.

I am repainting the kitchen ...the old wall paper had to go. I am actually really liking the complex textured multicolored new look ( I was very nervous) perhaps ill add a photo and you may comment . (uhhhmm its not done yet)------------>

What motivated me to write today was seeing in the news something about bogus cancer cures ...of course I had to go read about what the FTC and the FDA are doing now to protect us. Additionally it is a day when another monumental bill came in, It appears to be for the tube feeding and the TPN which was a do-it yourself thing that I basically administered to Logan, I remember they would just give us all this stuff about 60% of we would use. I think This great insurance paid about 10% of the bill...makes you think ....Whats the point of the insurance. Constant battle and it has been just over three months, well im starting to ramble.

I want to add that we recieved some very touching and heart felt letters from some of the nurses who helped care for Logan, I will never forget some of these magnificent human beings who put their heart and soul into their profession. THANK YOU

Im posting a commentary from natural news concerning the FTC and the cancer cure subject, please consider this information in terms of our health care system as we head into this most interesting election season.